I used to say that some people were a good judge of character, some people just had a stronger gut instinct, and I just didn’t have that. In the podcast, Under the Skin, the episode with Wim Hoff, I learned of tribal communities celebrating the three brains of humans – brain of belly, brain of heart, and brain of head… The brain of the head is directly translated as a “tangled fishing net” and is only used for problem solving. Don’t live there. Your head brain is a complicated and scary place. Your heart brain is often deceived by emotions… But your belly brain – for real, we need to get in tune with it, because that shit knows. Last year I had been struggling with whether or not to end the relationship I was in. I loved him deeply, I knew that for certain, but I also knew I was not the best version of myself when I was with him. I was angry, impatient, frustrated. I went against my gut regularly, because I thought it would serve him, and therefore the relationship. After months (maybe even years) of debating internally and sometimes outwardly whether or not to stay, I landed in the ER from excruciating stomach pain. X-rays, ct scans, ultrasounds, 12 hours, and a hefty hospital bill later… It was nothing. Well, not nothing, but it was stress. This was the beginning of listening to my body.
I no longer believe that some of us have this ability. I feel strongly that our gut instinct is a super power that we all have. I think deep down we KNOW when something is good or bad for us, and then we actively DECIDE whether or not we are going to listen to it. Nine foreign countries mostly by myself…. I had to become my own best friend. If something gave me a bad vibe, I trusted it.
This pertains to connecting with others, because you have to trust when your body is telling you that the person with whom you are engaging has good or bad intentions. I really think most people are good. Maybe that is naive, but a little bit of confidence and a little bit of self-love really doesn’t invite bad-energy humans into your space. People honestly don’t want to fuck with you if you don’t seem fuck-with-able.
An affirmation from @danikabrysha’s self-love course I took in January is “I am guided by my inner wisdom” and I just love that so much. Let your CURRENT placement in the universe, your heart, what lights you up, where your head is RIGHT NOW, let THAT inner wisdom guide you. Speak that truth. Let that brain speak when you’re in conversation. The REAL truth, the real vulnerability is what connects us more deeply to those we speak to. When you speak truthfully, it invites the other person to speak openly too. We learn about life and love and ourselves when we connect with people of other backgrounds, ages and genders. Meik Wiking, a happiness researcher from Denmark talks about the importance of cross-generational friendships, and this has been a theme throughout my life but also really made apparent on this last adventure – the 60 year old Italian man in Napoli, my 18 year old bestie from Australia, my 84 year old grandmother, the 6 year old host child.. And all the 20-50-something travelers, bar-goers, museum-goers, parents, dates, friends… Everybody in between. I learned from them. They learned from me. I wouldn’t be who I am today if not for these encounters. Talk to strangers. Talk authentically and connect. They’ll connect back, they will.
