This really crazy thing keeps happening to me where I am talking about something with a friend and then hours/days/a week later, that EXACT thing either is said again in almost the same verbiage, or “the thing” actually happens. I believe this to be the law of attraction…. Manifesting your own destiny and fulfilling your own prophecies, with, of course, and do not take this lightly, the help of the universe. I really wanted to put this in a later post so I didn’t lose my non-believer friends, but honestly, I am done – in life – apologizing for being the way that I am! And why are you going to NOT believe that good things happen when you are good and when you believe in yourself? Does it benefit you in some way to think that way? And truly, I want to attract people to read this who WILL believe me and believe IN me. I read about the law of attraction months before I started to actually practice it in my own life, and I was happy for “those people” and excited for them, that they believed in themselves so much, that they were able to create thoughts, and manifest them into existing truths, but I was not that person, I wasn’t like them. I didn’t have tangible dreams that I could name, that I could see myself doing.
Today’s post is all about the really serious lack of community that we are currently facing in today’s society. Humans are social animals, and we are totally disconnected and disengaged the way that we are living rn. We have to start mother fucking supporting one another. I believe in the potential of the human race, and I believe that we can change the world, one smile, one authentic conversation at a time. We all have dreams!!!! If you are telling yourself right now, or whenever anyone asks, that you don’t have dreams, then you have to really break yourself down to get to the dream deep within. Break through the fear of failure. The fear of judgement. The fear of not being good enough, the anxiety, the self-doubt. Start to love yourself. Please start to love yourself. You are enough. Exactly as you are, you are enough.
Well that was easy. Now that you love yourself…. (just kidding – seriously, practice self love every day! This is not a drill. This is not “I will start on Monday, I will start next week or next month.” Every moment you spend continuing to hate yourself for your insecurities is a moment (and precious, perfect energy) that could be spent living your best life. Own those insecurities. Feel the feelings you feel when you speak them outloud. Talk to a therapist, or a close friend, a partner, a parent, a loved one, a mentor, a stranger, talk to me. If your session is anything like mine, you will know it’s happening… because you will be sobbing absolutely uncontrollably and simultaneously smiling so hard, because it’s a real serious moment in your life and it is only the beginning — shout out to my girl Nicole for sitting in this moment of darkness and vulnerability with me and letting me face myself. Maybe your moment won’t include laughing or crying, because maybe we are way less alike than I so boldly continue to assume, but you will know you are in your moment because you can fucking feel it. Say out loud the things it hurts to say, that you haven’t said in a long time, or maybe ever: I’ve hated myself for so long, my legs, my braces, my hair… my _____ . To find the old pictures that show IRL my visible sadness… the old journal entries that say the words, the real evidence you find after you speak the words into life and take away their power, they come out of hiding and they SHOW YOU that you are stronger than your insecurities. You do not need to let them control you anymore. I honestly thought I already had faced myself, before I stated them in the blog, before my moment last weekend with Nicole. I forgot that this is a practice, and it takes practicing every day. I have to literally remind myself that I am whole, every day, and I am growing into a better me. I am compassionate and patient with myself that I am still learning, developing, becoming better, but that I am a perfect work in progress, perfectly progressing, and exactly where I need to be in this moment. I’ve been feeling that maybe I didn’t quite hammer home the self-love thing. You can NOT love others as deeply or live as wholesomely as you would like if you are not able to love yourself first. I repeat. You can NOT love others until you love yourself.
I had a conversation last night at the bar with some new friends I’d met earlier in the evening at the hostel about what the purpose of this blog was and what I felt about it. I have been mostly met by people excited for me, the way I am speaking about it so passionately and how deeply invested I have quickly become, the conversation turns into an emotional experience. Because it isn’t about me at all, and everyone I talk to is realizing stuff (because “this is the year of like, realizing things”) about themselves that they haven’t acknowledged or thought about. I am using my experience and my story to relay to you, like the Bible does with stories – basically I am an apostle – so that you can sit with my words and think about how they relate to your own life. One of the guys told me this blog was “the most American thing” he’d ever heard. I laughed; I couldn’t have disagreed more. We, as a culture, are so angry and anxious and rushed and living in fear and shame and scarcity, thinking constantly “I have so much to do” instead of “look at all that I’ve done” “#alreadywednesday @joellesamantha. Not to mention our completely unrealistic desire to do everything perfectly (perfectionists, type A personality, unite! I’m looking at you).
He explained that he meant it as a compliment, “the potential of the human race” is something “only an American would say, and really mean,” he told me, and that it was a good thing. Myself and one other on-board, spiritual human who was pickin up what I was puttin down, explained that these beliefs were not politically motivated, not based on age or sexual orientation or education, this isn’t my country, or my people versus yours. I feel like Jon Snow against the White Walkers…. Like, we are all, together, responsible for the devastation of our planet and the complete lack of humanity in so many cultures that is just, widely accepted. I’m glad you recycle. You gonna say “told ya so” when we run out of resources? I’m glad you live open-mindedly and holistically, are you going to be able to watch from your spaceship when we have all killed each other with war, brutality and disease? Stop judging people for living their life, but stop sitting idly by too – neutral is guilty, you guys! Start being kinder to one another. Ladies, when a woman walks into the room wearing something that makes you uncomfortable, sit with that emotion. Why do you hate her outfit, why do you hate her makeup, why do you hate her? Find something you like about what she’s doing, like maybe the fact that she got dressed and did her best today and feels beautiful. Guys, when someone bumps into you in a crowded space, are you quick to get angry? Do you feel slighted that they believe their personal space is more important than yours? Aren’t we sharing the room, the building, the earth? What if next time that happens you say “excuse me” kindly, and mean it? What about when someone takes that ever-so courageous first step to talk to you, and instead of being rude, you engage them, and enjoy a real conversation?
We are just cruel to each other, without any regard. I really, truly, deeply, believe that we can change the world this way. Be kinder to your neighbor. Have REAL conversations with people, because that is when we fight through the jungle of rage and hatred, and humanize one another. I am much less likely to hate that woman’s makeup/outfit when I have been kind to her and she was kind to me in return. And when I do not hate myself and therefore do not feel uncomfortable to be around people who dress or act or speak differently than me because they cannot make me feel less than, and because I would never want to make them feel less than. This is how we will build a community of love. An entire group of people who work together in all that they do to support one another. Even if we are just online to start. We can do this together.
Spread love. Smile. I don’t mean smile because you’re a girl and you’re prettier when you smile. I mean that when you smile, you put out a good energy, and good vibrations will flow in your direction. Life is happening all around us. You can choose to be angry and uptight and fearful of love and vulnerability. Or you can face the world with a smile, taking the bad with the good, but knowing that you left a positive impact on the day (when you have the mental/physical/emotional energy to even put clothes on and leave the house — sometimes we don’t). Even the darkest day only has 24 hours.
In this world I am envisioning, it is not a utopia. Things are not perfect. We still fight, and we miscommunicate, and there is still a wide range of emotional responses to each other’s actions and the hardships in life. But, we are honest in conversation. We are more direct and open, willing to be seen in all instances. “Don’t shrink, don’t puff up, just let yourself be seen” (Brene Brown). We are not afraid of what we are or where we came from, because those experiences have made us who we are. We encourage one another to step outside our comfort zones and face our challenges, knowing that we are supported and loved and believed in, for just being exactly who we were meant to be, and not being who society has made us think we needed to be. Knowing that if we fail, we are still loved, and we will learn from it. The next time we fail, we will be so much closer to getting it right. Maybe I’m crazy…. I know that I am a little bit…. But I really believe this shit. When I’m telling you this in person, I am moved by it. I am lit up by how happy I make people when I speak passionately about it. I am moved by how much kindness is contagious, and how the more I talk about it in different cities, countries, to different friends and strangers, from different walks of life, the more we are all alike, and the more people have an emotional reaction to this other option that we don’t talk about in adulthood, where we lean into love, and it is accepted and welcomed.
My friends who are brilliant, far more brilliant than I: what is your side project you are working on right now? Developing a better app for dating? Working on creating an investing plan? Trying to empty the ocean of debris and waste? Popularizing a new method of transportation or roadway systems? What if you worked on this project with no limit of time, money, investors, or support? What if we, all together, started working on these projects? Changing the political system, the education system, the judicial system? There is no limit of time, money, investors or support. Because we are the next generation. We can mold our own future. The time will pass, whether you do the thing or not, so fucking go for it. Set a plan in place, set your goals and a realistic span of time you would like to achieve them in. And go for it. You absolutely CAN do it. And you need to start believing in yourself and manifesting these new truths. If every person with a brilliant, world-changing plan, was supported and loved deeply, nothing would hold us back.
We aren’t using what we know as a species, what we have cultivated through thousands of years of human experience, philosophy, education, math, science, the economy, we aren’t using our individual gifts, and we certainly aren’t walking in life feeling a deep sense of love, support, passion or belonging. Can we start? Will you guys join me? Reposting inspirational shit is a good way to start. Practice loving yourself daily. Be kind to everyone you meet. Stop watching shows and following accounts that don’t make you feel good. Stop talking to people that don’t make you feel good, or don’t make you want to be better. Be patient with yourself when you can’t do it all – no one does it all without having a breakdown sooner or later. Support your friends and loved ones when they tell you something that makes them light up. Speak authentically but gently, and love without reserve. Let yourself feel, name the emotion, and don’t let sadness engulf you. You are absolutely beautiful, but you know what would be even more beautiful? If we were better to one another.
Let’s encourage people to follow their dreams without inhibition, and turn their creative outlets into a tool, for their mental health and happiness, a better world, and maybe for their own individual profit that will benefit others, because we care about each other and our future. We, as a whole, have the abilities and the drive to create a better future for ourselves, right fucking now. If more people did things they were passionate about and fewer people did things they hated, exclusively for money, we would have a lot more happy people doing things that brought joy into their day-to-day interactions. Be joyful, spread love. Share this with someone who needs it, and write me if this resonates with you — I’ll get the comments page on here working soon. Thanks for being patient and loving me in return. I love you deeply, and am so thankful for you!
